Sexuality Issues

This is a complex and often difficult area to address.

Sexual Identity

Sexual identity is often defined as how we think of ourselves in terms of to whom we are romantically or sexually attracted.  Sexuality is diverse and deeply personal. Understanding our sexuality includes coming to terms with the sexual feeling and attractions we have towards other people.  It is not about who we are having a physical sexual relationship with. 

Many people find it difficult to recognize why they are attracted to an individual of the same sex or to both sexes when our society forces us to view being attracted to the opposite sex as “natural” or “normal.”  Those of us who want to have a romantic or sexual relationship with someone of the same gender can often feel confused, scared or alienated.  These feelings can lead to difficulties in finding fulfilling relationships and can often leave us feeling emotionally damaged. 

Sexual Dysfunction

If you are having trouble with sexual performance you might be feeling shame, anger or embarrassment.  It can be quite common to feel afraid and helpless.  Many people suffer quietly for years, believing there is no way to help them overcome their issues, or are too fearful to discuss their performance issues with anyone.

Sexual dysfunction has many causes and can be quite common.  Many people find the causes are linked to external stresses of everyday life, intimacy problems within the relationship or lack of desire to be intimate.  If the cause(s) of sexual dysfunction are not addressed the knock on effects on your relationships and your happiness can be devastating.  

If you are having problems you might find it helpful to speak to either your GP or a trained counsellor.

More Information

Useful Articles

Here's a list of articles on sexual issues you might find helpful.

Gender Identity Clinic for young people sees referrals double 
The number of young people referred to England's only gender identity clinic for under-18s has doubled in the past year to nearly 1,400, figures show.

The Tavistock and Portman: Gender identity development service (GIDS) 
For children and young people, and their families, who experience difficulties in the development of their gender identity.

Understanding Gender 
For many people, the terms “gender” and “sex” are used interchangeably, and thus incorrectly. This idea has become so common, particularly in western societies, that it is rarely questioned. We are born, assigned a sex, and sent out into the world. For many people, this is cause for little, if any dissonance. Yet biological sex and gender are different; gender is not inherently nor solely connected to one’s physical anatomy.

Gender identity and the big questions that have yet to be answered 
Why a person feels male when biologically female, or vice versa, is still unclear. But scientists are working to solve the puzzle

Sex, Sexuality and Sexual Disorders 
Sex and human sexuality are a core part of being human, so it's natural to wonder about sex in all of its different forms. Sexual disorders are like people -- they come in all different kinds of shapes and sizes. A sexual disorder doesn't mean something is "wrong" with you. It only means that you're experiencing the kind of issue that can suddenly affect anyone, at any time in their lives, for any reason or no reason whatsoever. While many sexual issues can be traced back to a physical problem or a sudden change in one's life circumstances, many sexual disorders' causes are not well-known or understood.

University of Maryland: Sexual Dysfunction 
Sexual dysfunction -- having a problem with sexual desire or response -- covers a wide variety of problems. In men, sexual dysfunction may refer to erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature or delayed ejaculation. For women, sexual dysfunction may include spasms of the vagina and pain with sexual intercourse. For both sexes, it can include problems with sexual desire (libido) and response.

Erectile Dysfunction and Erection Problems: Causes, Treatments 
Since the discovery that the drug sildenafil (Viagra) - originally a heart drug - had an effect on men's penile erections, most people have become aware of erectile dysfunction as a medical condition.

Poems and Quotes to Inspire You

Dare we hope? We dare.
Can we hope? We can.
Should we hope? We must, because to do otherwise is to waste the most precious of gifts given so freely by God to all of us.  So when we do die, it will be with hope and it will be easy and our hearts will not be broken.

Andy Ripley – England and Lions rugby legend, often described as one of the most colourful personalities in the history of English rugby

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