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The Gift of Mediation

Emotions are an integral part of human relationships. Positive relationships are based on shared feelings of joy, love, compassion and empathy, but all relationships are complex and will experience periods of conflict. When the conflict becomes too great for us to resolve on our own, it may be worth considering mediation.

It is upsetting to deal with conflict. As humans, we are wired to be a part of a tribe and when this sense of togetherness is threatened, we feel vulnerable. All conflict stirs up feelings of hurt, shame, fear and guilt, and this can leave us with the sense that our only recourse is to leave, attack or defend. There is often a more measured way through.

Sometimes in our personal and business lives, relationships deteriorate. They may not have turned out quite as we thought they would, or circumstances and context might have changed. However, whatever the conflict, if both parties are committed to seeing a way through to resolution, whether that means staying together or parting, continuing to work together or finding another solution, mediation can help.

What is Mediation?

Mediation is a process for resolving disputes. The role of a Mediator is to “go between” the parties in dispute and guide them to a sustainable and agreed solution. All emotional, practical and social concerns are addressed both collectively and individually so that everyone can air their grievances, be heard and ultimately reach a resolution. The goal is that all parties leave mediation with a more informed and realistic perspective on the situation.

How can Mediation help?

When we feel defensive or angry it is very difficult to hear the other side of the story. A conversation to clear the air, while uncomfortable, is necessary to move forward – and this takes skill. We know that positive emotions enhance problem-solving, so having someone empathetic to both parties helps the solution-focused thinking that is required to come to an agreement.

Some clients don’t want the publicity of a court case, others don’t want the cost of one. For some clients it is simply a matter of being validated and understanding how to bring a relationship back from the brink. Recent examples of successful mediation include a couple who needed to mediate their shared parenting after a divorce and, in a commercial context, siblings who inherited a family business but clashed about how it should be run. In both cases, a calm and experienced Mediator was able to help all parties talk through their needs and find a workable outcome.

Ultimately, our goal as Mediators is to provide you with a safe, supportive space to bring your issues to resolution. You can step into our empathy and skill, and step back from the pain of the conflict you find yourself in. We will hear what you say, listen to all of your issues, unburden your emotions around the conflict and find a route forward together.

Mediation Complaints Procedures

  1. All complaints will be acknowledged in writing within 5 working days of receipt.
  1. All complaints will be investigated and responded to within 21 working days of receipt. The procedure may specify that on occasions further time may be required, in which case the complainant should be notified of this in writing. 
  1. The Investigation will be carried out by somebody other than the mediator that the complaint relates to.
  1. If you wish to appeal the result of the investigation to the Head of the Practice this will be dealt with, within 6 weeks.  
  1. If The Practice Response is not accepted the complainant can appeal to the CMC on certain grounds set out below. This must be done within one month of conclusion of consideration of the complaint by the mediator or provider and in any event within 6 months of the events giving rise to the complaint. Complaints received outside these time limits will only be accepted at the discretion of the CMC.
  •  All complaints must be in writing and addressed to the CMC at complaints@civilmediation.org. On receipt of your e-mail the CMC will send you a complaint form to be completed and returned.
  • Complaints can only be considered by the CMC if they concern an individual or organisation which is a member of the CMC. The CMC regrets that it cannot consider complaints against non-members.
  • All documents relating to the complaint must be submitted with the complaints form or, if any are unavailable, you must give an indication as to when they will be supplied. In submitting a complaint you consent to all information you supply and any accompanying documents being disclosed to the other party to the complaint, to the CMC’s Complaints and Discipline Committee, the CMC Board and to other relevant third parties which may include other regulators.
  • Complaints may be made on the following grounds only:
  • A complaint may be made against a Regulated Mediator (i.e. CMC Associate, Registered or Fellow) on the grounds that they no longer meet the requirements for Regulation (Rule 1 (i)); and/or they are not a fit and proper person to hold Regulated status (Rule 1 (ii)).
  • A complaint may be made against a Registered Provider on the grounds that it no longer meets the requirements for Registration (Rule 3 (i); and/or the service provided by the Provider does not meet generally acceptable standards (Rule 3 (ii)).
  • A complaint may be made against an organisation which offers a Registered Training Course on the ground that it no longer meets the requirements for Registration (Rule 5).
  • A complaint may be made against any Member of the CMC (whether an Individual or Organisation, and whether Registered or not) on the grounds that they have brought the CMC or the mediation profession or the mediation process into disrepute (Rule 6).
  • Complaints will be dealt with in accordance with the procedures adopted by the Complaints and Discipline Committee of the CMC from time to time. A copy of the Rules is available on request from the Secretariat.
  • All communications must be made in writing, but in its absolute discretion the CMC may also accept oral representations from the parties.
  • The determination of a complaint by the CMC and any disciplinary measures imposed are final and no further appeal will be entertained.
  • The CMC will progress your complaint with due diligence and in most cases provide a final determination within 6 months of receipt of the complaint.

In addition, Regulated Mediators and Registered Mediation Providers must keep written records of any complaints received.

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Ailis Clarke

MSc Psychology, FdSc Counselling, LLB, S.A.C. Dip CBT, MBCS

Ailis Clarke is an executive coach and psychologist . As an executive coach she has spent a decade  focusing on issues such as performance anxiety, depression, limiting beliefs and addictive behaviours. 

From £120.00 (50 min session)
Steve Flower

MBA, MSc, Dip Therapeutic Counselling, Dip Supervision,MBACP accredited,

Steve is an experienced supervisor, counsellor and coach who combines different therapeutic approaches to support you when you're feeling lost, anxious or confused to find meaning in your life and a path forward.

From £65.00 (50 min session)
Jane Carne

Therapeutic Counselling, Dip. MBACP, Accredited Mediator

Jane is an integrative practitioner, mainly working with psychodynamic, person-centred and gestalt theories. This approach underpins her ability to assist clients to make sense of their lives, from their own unique perspective.

From £80.00 (50 min session)

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